Blade Comedy Jam: Rules and Regulations

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Blade Comedy Jam: Rules and Regulations

Blade Comedy Jam is the most regulated competition in the history of fucking blading. Blade Comedy Jam is the first blading competition to have top law enforcement officials and top Harvard professor think tank analysts decisively judging what is legal and illegal in the fast paced world of aggro X-blading street competitions. Our panel of intensely trained scholars and analysts have taken extensive surveys analyzing the psychology of judging aggro blading based on random walk theory, geophysical analysis and computer generated kinesthetic movement monitoring technology. All you bitch made hoes best recognize the rules of the game:

1. Substance abuse is totally allowed during the competition. Feel free to drink a bottle of vodka, do a shifty royale and break your arm.
2. Suing every one is also awesome. Make sure to sue anyone you see at the competition that is not on rollerblades. This means all property owners whose property we are trespassing on and also any innocent bystanders. It is also important to find out what construction company, architect and developer helped to build the structure you are skating on so you can sue them. This will allow you to ball out of control and subsequently purchase spinning rims for your fucking lawn mower.
3. Illegal drugs are actually legal at Blade Comedy Jam. If you see any police officers at the event make sure they know that illegal drugs are now legal.
4. Rollerblading is completely illegal. Perform a citizens arrest on anyone you see rollerblading.
5. The Aggressive Laughing Association in no way, shape or form condones appropriate or polite behavior. Make sure to act like a fucking asshole at all times while disrespecting the elderly. Old people are going to die soon anyway. They can take the heat.

Blade Comedy Jam is going down next weekend on Jan 13th. The competition will meet up at the Crocker Amazon Skate Park off Geneva Blvd (94112 area code) in San Francisco at 12:30.

Sponored by some of the realest brands in rollerblading:

The Valo Skate Brand
Casualty Clothing
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ABLE
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Heat Wheels
Aggressive Mall
Roces
Vicious
Ground Control
One Rollerblading Magazine
Rollerwarehouse
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