Knucklehead
05.11.2009, 17:44
I just got back and I'm still laughing. Check out what happened today, it's long and it starts slow, but worth it I think.
I really hope this isn't one of those "you had to be there" stories.
So my friend Tim gives me a call earlier this afternoon and asks if I want to go grab some lunch and a pint.
I said no to the lunch but yes to the pint.
"would you want that pint to be be free?"
"well yeah"
"you wanna go with me to this new magic club?"
"clubs are open this early?"
"no not like a dance club, like a student organization and shit. I haven't done Magic since middle school. I love that shit. come on."
"so like chess club"
"yeah, like chess club"
"absolutely not"
"come on man, they just started this club on campus and they got sponsored by Monkey"
[Digression]: Monkey is this local alternative bar by campus. It's a bar that tries to be weird and generally is filled with weird people who enjoy the company of other social outcasts (i use the word weird here to explain the feeling you get while there. Somethings just not right, the lighting, the smell, the bartenders. All of it is off. So it's weird). Typically, the only time students are in there is when someone turns 21 and they haven't yet learned that they shouldn't go in there.
But, and this is an important but, it carries delicious German and other european specialty beers on tap.
So there's a weird ass bar that students don't go to, and they are sponsoring a university magic club. Makes sense. Free beer for students equals more students visiting the bar, which they hope will lead to more future student customers.
Continuing on.
So i'm intrigued.
"free beer you say?"
"free beer and you just have to sit there"
"beautiful, I'm good at that"
We meet at Monkey and head inside. The place has more people than I've ever seen inside the bar. Which isn't saying much since it was probably like 20 people all sitting around each other, and the stray weirdo sprinkled here and there around the room, smoking their cigarettes, adjusting their bright pink 'pay attention to me' mohawk, and looking like someone gave them just enough cash after reading their 'No home. No family. Anything would help. God bless" sign this morning.
"quite the turnout. not exactly the crowd I expected" tim tells me.
"Let's grab a liter" eyeing that there was a group of three cute brunette girls sitting near the back of the group.
Beer. Sit down. Some conversation. A sign-up sheet is passed around, with a $5 first time membership sign-up fee. Conversation dies down as a guy in a black top hat stands up and thanks us all for coming out to the very first magic club meeting.
Then he says, "to start things off I'd like to have someone stand up and share some magic. anything would do."
Tim turns to me and whispers, "this doesn't sound that bad, I thought it was going to be a lot nerdier"
I say, "Oh don't worry, it is" while looking at the dude in the top hat.
Top hat is looking down at the list of names and says, "so how about Tim.. Tim Dekker, would you stand up and share something?"
Tim takes a drink and stands up while reaching into his pocket. He takes out a deck of cards.
"so what's everyone's favorite card?" he asks.
"ace of spades" is yelled.
one of the cute brunettes yells, "queen of hearts"
This is when Tim changes. He gets figgity and nervous looking and doesn't say anything for awhile. It gets awkward.
"aren't you going to do a trick?" the dude next to me says.
"I um-- no"
"then what are you doing with the cards?"
"they ar- um... sorry I have to leave"
He scurries out of the bar without even looking back. I'm all done with my beer so I get up to chase him down and find out what happened.
And he's outside waiting for me.
"oh my god, dude. I can't believe it" he says
"what, what is it? why didn't you just do the trick"
"i couldn't do a fucking trick"
"what was all that with the favorite card and the deck of cards then?"
"It wasn't about that"
"just fucking tell me"
"they were Magic cards. I was asking what their favorite card was and I wanted to share my favorite card, the Darksteel Colossus"
and he shows me the card. It's this silver card with this big ass robot with glowing eyes on it.
hahaha it was a fucking Magic card. Tim thought it was a Magic: The Gathering club. I've never seen a guy so pumped get so crushed before.
He won't ever live this down. I'll be seeing you at your wedding, Tim, with a very special story to be sharing will all your brides relatives. I love it.
I really hope this isn't one of those "you had to be there" stories.
So my friend Tim gives me a call earlier this afternoon and asks if I want to go grab some lunch and a pint.
I said no to the lunch but yes to the pint.
"would you want that pint to be be free?"
"well yeah"
"you wanna go with me to this new magic club?"
"clubs are open this early?"
"no not like a dance club, like a student organization and shit. I haven't done Magic since middle school. I love that shit. come on."
"so like chess club"
"yeah, like chess club"
"absolutely not"
"come on man, they just started this club on campus and they got sponsored by Monkey"
[Digression]: Monkey is this local alternative bar by campus. It's a bar that tries to be weird and generally is filled with weird people who enjoy the company of other social outcasts (i use the word weird here to explain the feeling you get while there. Somethings just not right, the lighting, the smell, the bartenders. All of it is off. So it's weird). Typically, the only time students are in there is when someone turns 21 and they haven't yet learned that they shouldn't go in there.
But, and this is an important but, it carries delicious German and other european specialty beers on tap.
So there's a weird ass bar that students don't go to, and they are sponsoring a university magic club. Makes sense. Free beer for students equals more students visiting the bar, which they hope will lead to more future student customers.
Continuing on.
So i'm intrigued.
"free beer you say?"
"free beer and you just have to sit there"
"beautiful, I'm good at that"
We meet at Monkey and head inside. The place has more people than I've ever seen inside the bar. Which isn't saying much since it was probably like 20 people all sitting around each other, and the stray weirdo sprinkled here and there around the room, smoking their cigarettes, adjusting their bright pink 'pay attention to me' mohawk, and looking like someone gave them just enough cash after reading their 'No home. No family. Anything would help. God bless" sign this morning.
"quite the turnout. not exactly the crowd I expected" tim tells me.
"Let's grab a liter" eyeing that there was a group of three cute brunette girls sitting near the back of the group.
Beer. Sit down. Some conversation. A sign-up sheet is passed around, with a $5 first time membership sign-up fee. Conversation dies down as a guy in a black top hat stands up and thanks us all for coming out to the very first magic club meeting.
Then he says, "to start things off I'd like to have someone stand up and share some magic. anything would do."
Tim turns to me and whispers, "this doesn't sound that bad, I thought it was going to be a lot nerdier"
I say, "Oh don't worry, it is" while looking at the dude in the top hat.
Top hat is looking down at the list of names and says, "so how about Tim.. Tim Dekker, would you stand up and share something?"
Tim takes a drink and stands up while reaching into his pocket. He takes out a deck of cards.
"so what's everyone's favorite card?" he asks.
"ace of spades" is yelled.
one of the cute brunettes yells, "queen of hearts"
This is when Tim changes. He gets figgity and nervous looking and doesn't say anything for awhile. It gets awkward.
"aren't you going to do a trick?" the dude next to me says.
"I um-- no"
"then what are you doing with the cards?"
"they ar- um... sorry I have to leave"
He scurries out of the bar without even looking back. I'm all done with my beer so I get up to chase him down and find out what happened.
And he's outside waiting for me.
"oh my god, dude. I can't believe it" he says
"what, what is it? why didn't you just do the trick"
"i couldn't do a fucking trick"
"what was all that with the favorite card and the deck of cards then?"
"It wasn't about that"
"just fucking tell me"
"they were Magic cards. I was asking what their favorite card was and I wanted to share my favorite card, the Darksteel Colossus"
and he shows me the card. It's this silver card with this big ass robot with glowing eyes on it.
hahaha it was a fucking Magic card. Tim thought it was a Magic: The Gathering club. I've never seen a guy so pumped get so crushed before.
He won't ever live this down. I'll be seeing you at your wedding, Tim, with a very special story to be sharing will all your brides relatives. I love it.