View Full Version : what do you call it when stephen hawking jerks off?
greg is cool
24.05.2010, 11:31
a stroke of genius.
bad jokes, post them.
Special ED
24.05.2010, 11:53
i smiled.
oldskizzle
24.05.2010, 12:06
Whats the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer?
The hooker can wash her crack and sell it again later.
greg is cool
24.05.2010, 12:14
whats the difference between a priest and a pimple?
the pimple will wait till ur 13 to come on ur face.
jonathan
24.05.2010, 13:21
a priest and a Rabi are walking down the road. The Priest spots a kid at a bus stop and asked the Rabi "wanna screw that kid?". The Rabi replies "outta what?"
What do you call it when hurricanes in Florida don't get peoples attention?
The U.
What do you call it when hurricanes in Florida don't get peoples attention?
The U.
OH SNAP
CannibalRoller
24.05.2010, 13:39
so a horse walks into a bar, and the bar tender says "hey, why the long face"
waka waka
greg is cool
24.05.2010, 13:41
a priest and a Rabi are walking down the road. The Priest spots a kid at a bus stop and asked the Rabi "wanna screw that kid?". The Rabi replies "outta what?"
a priest a rabbi and a lawyer r on a sinking boat. the rabbi says "save the children" the lawyer says "fuck the children". the priest says "do u think we have time?"
lee harvey oswald shot jfk.
neil armstrong walked on the moon.
speaking of armstrongs...
lance armstrong wasn't doped.
saddam hussein was responsible for 9/11.
iraq had weapons of mass destruction.
george w. bush got re-elected for a second term.
mission accomplished.
did you ever notice how men always leave the toilet seat up?
jakeordie
24.05.2010, 14:32
All great jokes, and in a way you're all winners.....
but in another more accurate way, Toe-bee is the winner.
Greg Schlosser
24.05.2010, 14:49
why cant bikes stand by themselves?
they're two tired
why did the easter bunny cross the road
his dick was stuck in the chicken
greg is cool
24.05.2010, 14:58
why cant bikes stand by themselves?
they're two tired
oh man that is really good.
y did the cookie go to the hospital?
he was feeling crummy.
what do you call a seagull that flys over the bay?
a bagel.
What do you call it when BMV jerks off?
Business as usual.
JorgeKozanas
24.05.2010, 15:09
Whats the number one cause of pedophilia?
Sexy children.
A man was waiting for his wife to give birth. The doctor came and informed the dad that his son was born without a torso, arms, or legs. The son was just a head!
But the dad loved his son and raised him as well as he could. Eighteen years later, the son was old enough for his first drink. The dad took him to a bar, tearfully told him he was proud of him, and ordered the biggest, strongest drink for his boy. With all the bar patrons looking on curiously, the boy took his first sip of alcohol.
Swoooop! A torso popped out!
The bar was dead silent, then burst into a whoop of joy. The father, shocked, begged his son to drink again. The patrons chanted, "Take another drink! Take another drink!" The bartender shook his head in dismay.
Swoooop! Two arms popped out!
The bar went wild. The father, crying and wailing, begged his son to drink again. The patrons chanted, "Take another drink! Take another drink!" But the bartender ignored the whole affair.
By this time, the boy was getting tipsy. With his new hands, he reached down, grabbed the drink, and guzzled the last of it.
Swoooop! Two legs popped out.
The bar was in chaos. The father wept with joy. The boy stood up on his new legs. He stumbled to the left. He stumbled to the right. Then he stumbled through the front door and into the street, where a truck ran him over.
The bar fell silent. The father moaned with grief. The bartender merely sighed and said, "He should have quit while he was a head."
| B |rian
24.05.2010, 16:04
This one guys luck was so bad that aspirin gave him headaches har harhar har
Why do firemen wear red suspenders?
to keep their pants up.
greg is cool
24.05.2010, 16:17
pedophiles. fucking immature assholes.
posternutbag
24.05.2010, 16:30
what's brown and ryhmes with snoop?
dr. dre
davedinuzzo
24.05.2010, 16:34
why does snoop dogg carry an umbrella?
fo drizzle
whats invisible and smells like carrots?
rabbit farts
pedophiles. fucking immature assholes.
At first I was like :???:, but then :lol:
jonathan
24.05.2010, 16:45
Egg & beacon walk into the bar. the bar tender responds "sorry, but we don't service Breakfast!"
:lol:
Greg Schlosser
24.05.2010, 17:33
how does lady gaga like her steak?
raw raw raw raw raw
greg is cool
24.05.2010, 17:59
what do a canoe and a black guy have in common?
neither like to tip.
How do you fit four faggots on a single bar stool?
Turn the stool upside down
Darth Monica Geller
24.05.2010, 18:56
how does lady gaga like her steak?
raw raw raw raw raw
lol :)
how do you wake up lady gaga?
poker face
http://26.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_l18huc8Gs71qai2z2o1_500.jpg
.
how do you wake up lady gaga?
poker face
How do you get pikachu on a bus?
pokemon
do not shower in the same building as pikachu, he will pikachu
basshole
24.05.2010, 22:41
What do you call it when hurricanes in Florida don't get peoples attention?
The U.
win
jonathan
24.05.2010, 22:43
What do you call a hooker with a runny nose?
Full.
Women's rights
bahahahahhahahaha
RollerBatioNation
24.05.2010, 23:51
What's the difference between my wife and a dead baby?
I don't kiss my wife after sex.
jonathan
24.05.2010, 23:54
What's the difference between my wife and a dead baby?
I don't kiss my wife after sex.
i know huh.
:lol:
What's so hot about twenty eight year old strippers?
There's twenty of them.
chrisbreezyyy
25.05.2010, 00:06
a guy walks into a bar.
ouch.
jonathan
25.05.2010, 00:09
My girlfriend fingered me.
http://images.starcraftmazter.net/4chan/for_forums/thats_the_joke.jpg
oldskizzle
25.05.2010, 00:20
My girlfriend fingered me.
http://images.starcraftmazter.net/4chan/for_forums/thats_the_joke.jpg
ahhhh, its funny cuz its true....
FMillest
25.05.2010, 01:32
My girlfriend fingered me.
http://images.starcraftmazter.net/4chan/for_forums/thats_the_joke.jpg
its not a joke when it happens to you :neutral:
jonathan
25.05.2010, 01:38
it's fun though
Ozzie Sandoval
25.05.2010, 01:50
What do you call 2 faggots fucking?
fucking faggots.
Apsley Cherry-Garrard
25.05.2010, 02:21
y did the cookie go to the hospital?
dude i just remembered that i have a 7-11 chocolate chip cookie in my car. thanks!!!!
Why did the Norwegian housewife fell out of the window?
She was ironing the curtains
http://www.epicallyfunnypictures.com/FunnyPictures/ISeeWhatYouDidThere/we-see-what-you-did-there.jpg.
*ROYALwithCHEESE*
25.05.2010, 07:19
what has 3 legs and lives on a farm?
Paul and Linda McCartney.
Badoom doom ching!
IRollerbladeYO
26.05.2010, 20:34
I approved of this thread.
so there's a bear and a rabbit taking a shit in the woods.
the bear asks the rabbit "Do you ever have problems with shit getting stuck in your fur?"
the rabbit says "nope can't say that I do"
so the bear wipes his ass with the rabbit.
so there's a bear and a rabbit taking a shit in the woods.
the bear asks the rabbit "Do you ever have problems with shit getting stuck in your fur?"
the rabbit says "nope can't say that I do"
so the bear wipes his ass with the rabbit.
http://harbknocklife.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/04/Eddie-Murphy-Delirious-1.jpg.
JorgeKozanas
27.05.2010, 04:08
How do you turn a dishwasher into a snowblower?
Give the bitch a shovel.
Jim and Edna are mental patients. One day Jim jumps in the swimming pool and sinks to the bottom, edna dives in and saves him. Later that day the man in charge of the institution calls edna into his office and says "I have some good news and some bad news. The good news is we are releasing you because you are obvisouly sane for saving Jims life, and the bad news is Jim has hanged himself in the bathroom". "No" Edna said "thats where i hung him up to dry"
....
andreas542
27.05.2010, 05:07
Why are pirates awesome?
Because they 'arrrr!
Did you hear about the magic tractor?
It went down the road and turned into a field.
Matthew Shannon
27.05.2010, 08:44
A man runs over a woman with his car. so who's fault is it?
the mans... he has no reason to be driving in the kitchen.
Whats the difference between a mexican and a bench?
The bench can support a family
Matthew Shannon
27.05.2010, 08:59
what is the one thing LOST! is good for?
Identifying people you want to avoid.
About Time
27.05.2010, 09:05
How does Bob Marley like his doughnuts?
With jam in.
Why do Norwegians carry a car door with them into the dessert?
So they can roll down and get some fresh air...
Why do Norwegians carry two car doors with them into the dessert?
So they can roll down and get a draft
The swede was gonna visit the norwegian. But when he got there, there was a note on the door that said "HAHA! Got you! Im not home!"
When the Norwegian came back home there was a note on his door from the swede.
"HAHA! I GOT YOU! I didnt even show up!"
;)
Only for perris:
The swede was in New York for the very first time. All of the sudden a bunch of sexy babes walked past him.
- "Oh, what a handsome face!" they said to the swede
The swede replied:
- "Nej, det var inte jag som fes."
Tony.T55
27.05.2010, 10:06
Where do Fish sleep
Water beds!!!
Cameron M
27.05.2010, 10:31
What does a fish say when he swims into a wall?
Damn!
greg is cool
27.05.2010, 10:43
3 guys died and went to hell and the devil said u got 1 more day to go find a question that i will try to answer, if i get it right u go to hell, if i dont know the answer u go back to earth.
the first guy is a doctor and goes to look up some obscure vein in the heart.
the second is a lawyer and finds an old law in a rural city where no one lives
the third guy is puerto rican and goes and gets drunk, fucks a hooker and jerks off all night
they all get back to hell and devil asks them to ask their questions
the doctor asks what the name of the vein is, and the devil gets it right, poof gone
the lawyer asks his about a obscure law and the devil gets it right, poof gone
the puerto rican tells the devil to get a wine barrel and a cork screw and drill holes all around the barrel. after that he hops in the barrel closes the lid and lets out a huge fart and goes "tell me which hole the smell came out of", the devil guesses and the guy says "wrong my assHOLE!".
Greg Schlosser
27.05.2010, 10:49
why was the enegizer bunny arrested?
he was charged with battery
what happens when you eat food coloring?
you dye a little inside
greg is cool
27.05.2010, 10:53
Guy walks into a bar and sits next to a seal
the seals says "i like ur jacket"
"Thanks" said the man
then the seals says "hey, i really like ur shoes"
the guy looks at the bartender and goes "whats his deal"
the bartender says "well thats the seal of approval"
The_John
27.05.2010, 14:38
How can you tell a girl is having an orgasm?
Who cares?
Only for perris:
The swede was in New York for the very first time. All of the sudden a bunch of sexy babes walked past him.
- "Oh, what a handsome face!" they said to the swede
The swede replied:
- "Nej, det var inte jag som fes."
:lol: :lol: :lol:
Two danes was visiting the u.s. Arriving late they checked in to a hotel, and fell right a sleep.
In the middle of the night one of the danes wake up and notice a robber in the room.
The robber pulls out a gun and yells out:
-"Hands up!"
The dane turns to his friend and says:
-"Hans du ska op!"
RollaBall Inc !
27.05.2010, 15:54
a stroke of genius.
bad jokes, post them.
haahahahahhahahahahhahah Greg is cool !
MyGlockGoPopPopPop
27.05.2010, 16:13
a pedophile and an eight year old are walking through the woods
the eight year old turns to the pedophile and says "gee mister these woods are scary!"
the pedophile then turns to the eight year old and says "you're telling me, I gotta walk back alone!"
http://www.epicallyfunnypictures.com/FunnyPictures/ISeeWhatYouDidThere/we-see-what-you-did-there.jpg.
I don't :(
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