how do i pass a drug test

[X5JAD0]

I only have weed in my system, smoked last night and everyday before that, didnt smoke today, the test is tomorrow.

suggestions? preferably from people who have actually done it and had it work.

[gambiacrumember]

Quit.

[Jefferson]

took one yesterday.

get a bottle of clean piss and a hand warmer. wrap the warmer around the bottle and tape it on. I also let mine sit on the dash of my car for 20 minutes to get hot. then i just put it in my pocket.

she told me to empty my pockets, i handed her my keys and phone. she closed the door and walked out.

i just poured the bottle right into the cup.


i don't know how your place will be though, it was much easier than i had expected...

[formerly galenaskater]

what is the job, they might only be testing for opiates

[Darth Monica Geller]

study hard and don't let things like your friends or drugs distract u

[jonathan]

Don't smoke weed if you want to pass a drug test. what is so complicated about that? Why are people so fucking stupid if they know they are going to get tested yet still continue to smoke weed.

:arrow::arrow::arrow::arrow::arrow::arrow:

[Hakuna]

Well getting tested for drugs and not finding any would technically be failing a drug test. So keep doing you're thing and you'll pass with flying colors

[R-MONEY$$$]

My buddy applied to the police department and was clean at the time, they asked him how many times in the past 5 years he had smoked weed,his answer was "around 5000".

[skatecharlotte]

Ive done this and passed

Go to your local Head Shop...
Buy that drink shit that helps you pass drug tests

Follow instructions
test yourself to make sure its working...
Piss in that cup
smoke a blunt of victory knowing you just aced a test for a first time since highschool

[macon deals]

Don't smoke weed if you want to pass a drug test. what is so complicated about that? Why are people so fucking stupid if they know they are going to get tested yet still continue to smoke weed.

:arrow::arrow::arrow::arrow::arrow::arrow:

you know, people dont always have jobs planed out weeks or months in advance. and we're not even going to get in the discussion of weed. and he probably just found out about the job yesterday, is not going to smoke today.

if it is a cotton swab test you will pass it if you dont smoke any more. if it is a piss test i would probably do what jefferson said.

[cminor]

Supposedly drinking lots of cranberry juice is supposed to help.

But i don't really see how.

[ILIKETODRINK]

Naw heres how you do it .. this is a true story and actually works .... I smoked a shit load the night before i had to take a drug test... wasnt gunna, got peer pressured , so whatever ... all i did was drank two whole gallons of water .... and when i pissed , it was straight water and i passed.... and u know this is legit cause i like to drink .... and no gaurentees but it did work for me ... i probably got lucky as fuck but try it anyways ... u can fail a drug test by eating poppie seed bread i think its called ... so i wouldnt do that

[timmons]

http://www.claireholmes.co.uk/Images/look_Up.jpg
:lol:

[Guest!mator]

Ok here's what you do: tonight drink a lot before bed so you'll be pissing a lot when u wake up- this is the most concentrated stuff so u want to get that out of your system. Tomorrow, drink 3 bottles of water and a giant energy drink(water dilutes your sample, energy drink provides an excess of b vitamins that add color to watery pee).

Drink the energy drink like 30 mins befre u get there. Your per should be good and watered down, collect sample from mid stream(just because I'm paranoid, I would colect te initial piss).

You'll be good. The paranoia behind drug tests is potentiated by the companies that sell detox drinks. You'll be fine.

Just in case it comes back too dilute don't smoke so you'll be clean for the retest but usually since that costs more they usually conclude it as a non-fail. Don't be alarme if they say they're sending it off to the lab, you're still good.

[NICKG]

yeah just do as adam says, getting some b vitamins in your system is an important step. if you have access to creatine go ahead and put a little bit in your water. it will only help. whatever you do do not drink 2 gallons of water, not even one gallon because that shit can kill you. the guy who did that is a dumbass.

[formerly galenaskater]

My buddy applied to the police department and was clean at the time, they asked him how many times in the past 5 years he had smoked weed,his answer was "around 5000".

hahahahaha

did he get the job?????????

my guess is most likley no

[The_John]

theres no way that you will completely rid yourself of the thc in that short amount of time, but you can mask it. WATER WATER WATER. seriously, drink a shit load of water (gallon to 2 gallons) and pee as much as possible before going in. also try to sweat as much as possible too. i took 12 mgs of valium and got selected to take a drug test less than 12 hours later and i passed it. i drank almost 2 gallons of water and pissed about 12 times before going in. you will be pissing straight water. be careful though, because i started feeling extremely dizzy and sick from drinking so much that fast. shit can be deadly.

i was on probation for 6 months and had to call a number everyday to see if I got selected to piss, and I never once failed any drug/72 hour alcohol test. i went in sooo many times hungover as hell from the night before, had to take an etg (72 hour alcohol test) and never once failed. all I did was drink A LOT of water. im not sure how it works with thc though, cause i just ended up quitting for those 6 months. but im sure this goes for any kind of drug. it will also depend on your height/weight/metabolism. im skinny as fuck and have crazy good metabolism.

[PA]

My buddy applied to the police department and was clean at the time, they asked him how many times in the past 5 years he had smoked weed,his answer was "around 5000".

haha osm. did he get it?

[jakeness13]

go to the grasscity.com forums. they have stickies on how to pass drug tests.

[salomonskater]

My buddy applied to the police department and was clean at the time, they asked him how many times in the past 5 years he had smoked weed,his answer was "around 5000".

Holy shit, that's like 3 blunts a day, everyday, for five years straight. :shock:

[Charlie Hustles]

That's not a lot at all.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UYdMr1w05qA

^
The jam when I was like 15.

[Supernintendo Chalmers]

you know, people dont always have jobs planed out weeks or months in advance. and we're not even going to get in the discussion of weed. and he probably just found out about the job yesterday, is not going to smoke today.

bullshit. if you're looking for a job then you don't smoke, period. it's not a difficult concept. i haven't smoked weed in 3 months because i've been looking for work and know i'll eventually have to get tested.

[Charlie Hustles]

Fuck that. It's mad easy to cheat a work drug-test. You just have to know someone who doesn't do drugs which is usually the part that fucks me up. What gets tricky is probation drug-tests where they straight eye-ball your wang while you're pissing.

[macon deals]

bullshit. if you're looking for a job then you don't smoke, period. it's not a difficult concept. i haven't smoked weed in 3 months because i've been looking for work and know i'll eventually have to get tested.

OBVIOUSLY! but you guys are just assuming that he hasnt had a job in months. the man could of JUST lost his job 3 days ago and now a job randomly jumped at him that he can get.

and sure, go get a job since you have been jobless for 3 months. then smoke a blunt a few days after you have been ther, then get fired, that same time period. you too would want to know how to pass a drug test if you had one to take later in the week from getting fired.

[MyGlockGoPopPopPop]

Synthetic urine is like $30 and it comes with a warmer, follow the instructions and you're golden.

I've heard some places will check your pockets and make you lift your pants up a little to check your socks but I've only been tested once and they didn't even ask me to empty my pockets. If you're worried about them checking you just strap it to the inside of your thigh with and ace bandage or something.

Fortunately this is not a problem for me since I have a job and I don't do drugs though haha.

[Supernintendo Chalmers]

OBVIOUSLY! but you guys are just assuming that he hasnt had a job in months. the man could of JUST lost his job 3 days ago and now a job randomly jumped at him that he can get.

and sure, go get a job since you have been jobless for 3 months. then smoke a blunt a few days after you have been ther, then get fired, that same time period. you too would want to know how to pass a drug test if you had one to take later in the week from getting fired.

unemployment doesn't drug test and anyone should have enough money to live on for at least a month if they are fired.

[UnknownPleasures]

Water doesn't really work anymore.

They'll keep making you re-test if its too diluted.

They aren't that dumb.

[petecwfl]

Holy shit, that's like 3 blunts a day, everyday, for five years straight. :shock:

my numbers would be way up there then used to burn bout a half a day put that into blunts

[DnEhThEnD]

1 1/2 tablespoons of bleach (don't get the color safe kind) mixed with cranberry juice

[u am snookems]

Eat like six boca burgers dude.

[Guest!mator]

do what i said boy

[salomonskater]

That's not a lot at all.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UYdMr1w05qA

^
The jam when I was like 15.

Charlie, you know that 5000 > 1000, right? Right?

[salomonskater]

do what i said boy

Aren't you worried about

Water doesn't really work anymore.

They'll keep making you re-test if its too diluted.

They aren't that dumb.

?

[Charlie Hustles]

Charlie, you know that 5000 > 1000, right? Right?

I am 23. I said that was my jam when I was 15. If my blunt smoking tendencies have increased exponentially since that time . . . you do the math. I'd say I'm at less than 100,000 but more than 50,000 by now.

[Charlie Hustles]

Also, it's funny hearing people talk about drug tests when they really don't know what they are talking about and not a single person has asked specifically what kind of test the kid will be taking (which is what really matters). I'll let him handle this one by himself, though, because he didn't seem to appreciate the advice I gave him about another subject.

[Guest!mator]

i would definitely be stressing regardless.... BUT it's not just water, that's what the energy drink is for, in fact take a 5 hour energy 45 minutes before the test and you'll piss vitamins and it should be fine. they definitely WON'T see weed and that's the point. B vitamins are water soluble, so they will pass with your urine, coloring it yellow AND giving it substance, so it's not just water, even though a majority of your urine is just water

[UnknownPleasures]

Ehalt comes through with the realness.

And yeah, I have to take piss tests for my P.O.

[Charlie Hustles]

The realness? More like a recipe for failure.

[Guest!mator]

The realness? More like a recipe for failure.

what do you think's in those "detox" drinks anyways?

[oldmanriver]

Get a whizanator, problem solved for good.

[Charlie Hustles]

what do you think's in those "detox" drinks anyways?

Exactly. I wouldn't trust that shit with my freedom.

oldmanriver, have you ever used a whizanator for a drug-test where they are actually peeping your johnson? So many people get caught with that shit.

[K]

Find someone who's clean and have them give you their piss.

[Charlie Hustles]

BINGO.

[Charlie Hustles]

And if they are actually looking at your dick, you're fucked.

[denialmind218]

easy way to pass...dont do drugs

[u am snookems]

What no one is telling you is that the best way to piss clean is to drink someone else's clean piss. Just find a friend and whisper "I need you inside me".

[tyson]

don't smoke drugs before you have a drug test.

how come people dont think...?

[oldskizzle]

Exactly. I wouldn't trust that shit with my freedom.

oldmanriver, have you ever used a whizanator for a drug-test where they are actually peeping your johnson? So many people get caught with that shit.

no, but last time i was on probation i went to a sex shop and bought the smallest realistic looking wang i could find and put it through a strap on, bored a hole through it with a hot clothes hanger, ran surgical tubing an inch from the tip, coped a colostomy bag from a buddy who worked at a nursing home and filled it with clean warm piss. I put hand warmers on the bitch and squeezed the bag with the arm i had holding the cup making sure i put even pressure on it so it was a steady stream and passed every time. This was pre wizinator days though, so i dont know. Ive heard what gives the wizinator away is that it is hard to get a steady natural flow out of it. I have never had a drug test for a job where they looked at my wang, so a condom with clean warm piss and a hand warmer should do just fine.

[Matthew Shannon]

hmm.. didn't read any of this thread... i would say don't do drugs...


or study real hard.

[Charlie Hustles]

no, but last time i was on probation i went to a sex shop and bought the smallest realistic looking wang i could find and put it through a strap on, bored a hole through it with a hot clothes hanger, ran surgical tubing an inch from the tip, coped a colostomy bag from a buddy who worked at a nursing home and filled it with clean warm piss. I put hand warmers on the bitch and squeezed the bag with the arm i had holding the cup making sure i put even pressure on it so it was a steady stream and passed every time. This was pre wizinator days though, so i dont know. Ive heard what gives the wizinator away is that it is hard to get a steady natural flow out of it. I have never had a drug test for a job where they looked at my wang, so a condom with clean warm piss and a hand warmer should do just fine.

That's hardcore. Though, to me, no drug is worth risking the amount of prison time they will give me if I fuck my shit up. For Community Control I have to report to Department of Corrections Probation and those motherfuckers don't play. I just took one yesterday and I haven't smoked since I was in jail. Passed that shit with ease. They had a line of people who couldn't piss or couldn't piss in front of anyone, I was like fuck this shit pussies it's going down. Flawless victory. They probably won't test me again considering that none of my charges are drug-related, but only time will tell.

[oldskizzle]

That's hardcore. Though, to me, no drug is worth risking the amount of prison time they will give me if I fuck my shit up. I just took one yesterday and I haven't smoked since I was in jail. Passed that shit with ease. They had a line of people who couldn't piss or couldn't piss in front of anyone, I was like fuck this shit pussies it's going down. Flawless victory. They probably won't test me again considering that none of my charges are drug-related, but only time will tell.

yeah for real, i should have said last time i was on probation and was smoking weed, cocaine is out of the system much faster although daily use can fail you for several weeks contrary to popular belief. They had to use the actual levels to determine if i passed or failed when i was in the halfway house because i was still testing positive for 3 weeks! Of course that was months of daily use.

[texas what it do]

if you drank the bleach like i told you to in your stupid kayak thread you wouldn't have this problem



faggot

[Chris Fortune]

head shop -> $25 bottle of synthetic urine -> put bottle in very hot water (almost boiling) -> let cool so it won't burn you -> put supplied heat pack on with supplied rubber band -> put on long socks -> put on somewhat baggy pants -> place fake urine in sock -> empty pockets -> go into room -> dump fake pee in -> dump a little in the toilet -> walk out -> great success.

[chimbaktu]

i was smoking when i received a call asking if i could come do my interview a week earlier, so i had to pass a piss test 14 hours later. since i'm pretty active and it would have been impossible to buy a detox in time, i drank 2 gallons of water (which made me really sick later that day) and passed the test. it was a preliminary piss test, so diluting my piss that much worked, but if it had actually been sent off to be tested, i'm sure it would have been too diluted to be acceptable.

[The_John]

i had to take etg's, and 10 panels, and not once did they say anything about my piss being too diluted. they have to send the urine samples away to a lab for etg's too.

[Guest!mator]

lots of water + 5 hr energy drink = pass

[Matthew Shannon]

in all seriousness. drink two large containers of all natural 100% cranberry juice the day before. that shit cleans your system out of any "toxins" way better than water could.

[macon deals]

The realness? More like a recipe for failure.

you are trying to argue a chemist major...

[Charlie Hustles]

Get it how you live.

[oldskizzle]

you are trying to argue a chemist major...

im not trying to be a dick, and not arguing adam here as his method does work for any cheap stick test, but him being a chemistry major doesnt qualify him as an expert on drug tests. My cousin has a phd from MIT and a second from cal-tech. He graduated highschool when he was 14. Is he a genius, yes. Does he know a damn thing about passing a drug test, hell no the mans never done a drug in his life.

[Charlie Hustles]

Get it how you live.

[nai]

no, but last time i was on probation i went to a sex shop and bought the smallest realistic looking wang i could find and put it through a strap on, bored a hole through it with a hot clothes hanger, ran surgical tubing an inch from the tip, coped a colostomy bag from a buddy who worked at a nursing home and filled it with clean warm piss. I put hand warmers on the bitch and squeezed the bag with the arm i had holding the cup making sure i put even pressure on it so it was a steady stream and passed every time. This was pre wizinator days though, so i dont know. Ive heard what gives the wizinator away is that it is hard to get a steady natural flow out of it. I have never had a drug test for a job where they looked at my wang, so a condom with clean warm piss and a hand warmer should do just fine.
Damn.
http://patel.univ-tln.fr/Filmographie/macgyver.jpg

[macon deals]

im not trying to be a dick, and not arguing adam here as his method does work for any cheap stick test, but him being a chemistry major doesnt qualify him as an expert on drug tests. My cousin has a phd from MIT and a second from cal-tech. He graduated highschool when he was 14. Is he a genius, yes. Does he know a damn thing about passing a drug test, hell no the mans never done a drug in his life.

well, thats not the same case here. and i've passed/seen several test passed because of something along these lines. and he has put time in to actually figuring out how he can pass one.

[Supernintendo Chalmers]

im not trying to be a dick, and not arguing adam here as his method does work for any cheap stick test, but him being a chemistry major doesnt qualify him as an expert on drug tests. My cousin has a phd from MIT and a second from cal-tech. He graduated highschool when he was 14. Is he a genius, yes. Does he know a damn thing about passing a drug test, hell no the mans never done a drug in his life.

you don't have to do drugs to understand the science behind them. do you think the people who invented drug tests were a bunch of stoners and coke heads?

[Charlie Hustles]

Put your science where you mouth is, do that shit when you're facing years in prison if it fails, and then get back to me. If it was that easy, everyone would be doing it.

[Charlie Hustles]

Get it how you live.

[oldskizzle]

you don't have to do drugs to understand the science behind them. do you think the people who invented drug tests were a bunch of stoners and coke heads?

no but the people who figure out how to beat them are. it would be one thing if he were a doctor, but he is a chemistry major. He may be able to cook a mean batch of dope, but i doubt any of his classes covered how drugs are metabolized and excreted. Id be willing to bet adam didnt learn his water and energy drink method in one of his classes but rather from personal experience or that of others.

[bness]

What was the verdict...did you pass?? I have to take one tomorrow, so im going to try both methods (concealed clean piss/ drink lots of water & energy drink) just to be safe. Just thought i'd rehash this thread instead of making a new one.