Masterbation Mishaps

[oldskizzle]

So I had the house to myself and I decide to sit down at the computer and rub one out. My mom had recently sent me a ton of mini lotions, shampoos, conditioners she has obtained in her travels. This little green bottle of lotion with mushroom infused something or other really caught my eye. I proceed only to have my junk start itching really bad a couple mins in. So now my shit is all red and itches like a motherfucker. I washed off, but it didnt help. Shit hurts pretty bad and im pissed. Discuss:

[MITSUBISHI FUJI]

pix of your mom and dick

[oldskizzle]

pix of your mom and dick

Her Mugshot

http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y247/aaronwesley/mugshot.jpg

I dont have a camera, but i googled penis rash and it is is similar to this:

http://www.lib.uiowa.edu/hardin/md/pictures22/dermnet/scabies_penisglans11.jpg

[MyGlockGoPopPopPop]

So my senior year in high school I was still a virgin, I was watching the spice channel in my room but it was almost all static but I could still hear it so it was hot enough to get hard. I jerked into my sock for easy clean up but my mom and day walked in!! I tried to hide it but eventually they heard some fucky sucky sounds on the tv and in a scramble to turn it off they removed the pillow covering my dick in a sock and realized the disgusting truth, so embarrassing!

Thats just the tip of the iceberg!

Few weeks later I was at mcdonalds when I saw apple pies on the menu and I remembered when my friend had told me that fingering a chick felt like warm apple pie, I brought one home ready to fuck it but that shit was still cold by the time I microwaved it I was sooo hungry I just ate it, oh well. Then the next day I walk into the kitchen and my mom had just made a fresh hot homemade apple pie! REDEMPTION! I was so stoked, I fingered the fuck out of it and then fucked the shit out of it.. it felt so fucking good I didn't even bother bringing it to my bedroom or even the bathroom I just hit that shit raw right in the kitchen. I pictured fat apple shaped titties as I slowly grinded my dick against the pie crust... MMMMMMMMM fuck ya. Like a cock blockin punk bitch my dad walks in like "wtf son?" I was like whatevs I got mine, you jealous? He never said anything to my mom though, she woulda been pissed.

Finally a few days later I had the chance to fuck a broad, some foreign hottie. I knew that she had to get changed in my room so I set up my webcam so me and a couple of my friends could watch! Little did I know that I had fucked it up and the entire school got the invite! Whoops! So she got straight up butt naked, found my porn stash, and started flippin her sloppy lady bean. Shit was so hot! I was totally being a bitch but my friends made me go after it, I walk in the room like "sup girl?" She got me all hard, made me do some stupid strip tease, and then suddenly she was ready to fuck! I raise up on her, I get a feel of a real titty, then all of the sudden... I fucking nutted right in my boxers! I was soooo bummed but I talked her back to the bed, then she takes off her panties and I see my first real like beaver, all I coudl think about was apple pie, warm sweet delicious apple pie... once again, I blew my man gravy all over my shorts. She got pissed and left, then after she found out what happened she ditched the country, I think she was a war criminal or something.

Later I finally deflowered myself to some nerdy red head broad, her vagina smelled like shit.

[MITSUBISHI FUJI]

Thanks man. Now all I need is this lotion that you've talked about..

[-nico-]

i once used a japanese icy hot rip off thinking it was lotion... needless to say 5min later i was crying in the shower

[oldskizzle]

So my senior year in high school I was still a virgin, I was watching the spice channel in my room but it was almost all static but I could still hear it so it was hot enough to get hard. I jerked into my sock for easy clean up but my mom and day walked in!! I tried to hide it but eventually they heard some fucky sucky sounds on the tv and in a scramble to turn it off they removed the pillow covering my dick in a sock and realized the disgusting truth, so embarrassing!

Thats just the tip of the iceberg!

Few weeks later I was at mcdonalds when I saw apple pies on the menu and I remembered when my friend had told me that fingering a chick felt like warm apple pie, I brought one home ready to fuck it but that shit was still cold by the time I microwaved it I was sooo hungry I just ate it, oh well. Then the next day I walk into the kitchen and my mom had just made a fresh hot homemade apple pie! REDEMPTION! I was so stoked, I fingered the fuck out of it and then fucked the shit out of it.. it felt so fucking good I didn't even bother bringing it to my bedroom or even the bathroom I just hit that shit raw right in the kitchen. I pictured fat apple shaped titties as I slowly grinded my dick against the pie crust... MMMMMMMMM fuck ya. Like a cock blockin punk bitch my dad walks in like "wtf son?" I was like whatevs I got mine, you jealous? He never said anything to my mom though, she woulda been pissed.

Finally a few days later I had the chance to fuck a broad, some foreign hottie. I knew that she had to get changed in my room so I set up my webcam so me and a couple of my friends could watch! Little did I know that I had fucked it up and the entire school got the invite! Whoops! So she got straight up butt naked, found my porn stash, and started flippin her sloppy lady bean. Shit was so hot! I was totally being a bitch but my friends made me go after it, I walk in the room like "sup girl?" She got me all hard, made me do some stupid strip tease, and then suddenly she was ready to fuck! I raise up on her, I get a feel of a real titty, then all of the sudden... I fucking nutted right in my boxers! I was soooo bummed but I talked her back to the bed, then she takes off her panties and I see my first real like beaver, all I coudl think about was apple pie, warm sweet delicious apple pie... once again, I blew my man gravy all over my shorts. She got pissed and left, then after she found out what happened she ditched the country, I think she was a war criminal or something.

Later I finally deflowered myself to some nerdy red head broad, her vagina smelled like shit.

Was that supposed to be making fun of this post or did you seriously type all that for some other reason im not getting?

[MyGlockGoPopPopPop]

Was that supposed to be making fun of this post or did you seriously type all that for some other reason im not getting?
Dude I'm drunk and I'm in one of those hella weird/happy moods. Then as soon as I saw this thread I immediately thought of the movie American Pie haha.

[DanielBond]

I approve of this thread.

[oldskizzle]

Dude I'm drunk .

Ah, gotcha ;)

[oldskizzle]

So past experience:
I was 9 or 10 at a family friends house. Everyone was outside and I went in to use the bathroom. So I notice this big stack of magazines and there was a playboy in it! I was so stoked to find this and began beating off and have no idea that people have now made thier way back inside. I did however notice an electric toothbrush on the sink. I think using this instrument on my penis might be a good plan so I pick it up. It was no good on the shaft, but it was kinda cool feeling on my balls. The daughter of the family friend decides to open the bathroom door without knocking and i find myself looking at her, my mom, and my aunt with my dick in one hand and an electric toothbrush on my balls. It was horrible.

[*ROYALwithCHEESE*]

Just plain old chafing.........Didnt stop me though ...Im an animal

[Kent]

I had a super wet dream in Espens spare bed and his GF slept in my goo only hours later :cool:

Not really masterbation I think, but still the only story Ive got

[Kent]

Oh wait, I was 15/16 and ridiculously drunk at a cabin trip with 4 girls and 2 guys I totally jerked off in from of them and came on the fireplace. Smelled wierd man

Had my first and only threesome later that night, so maybe I should label this as a pro tip

[oldskizzle]

Oh wait, I was 15/16 and ridiculously drunk at a cabin trip with 4 girls and 2 guys. Had my first and only threesome later that night

Soooooo.....
you + 4 girls = fivesome
you + 2 guys = threesome

You got drunk and slept with 2 guys?

[Kent]

Nope ;)

[*ROYALwithCHEESE*]

you spelt masturbation wrong you wanker

[Monday]

Yo oldskizzle, it is of great importance that you have a look at this. And to post stooooreeeesss in it.

http://www.be-mag.com/msgboard/showthread.php/33566-Crazy-oldskizzle-stories-request-thread...

[Monday]

So past experience:
I was 9 or 10 at a family friends house. Everyone was outside and I went in to use the bathroom. So I notice this big stack of magazines and there was a playboy in it! I was so stoked to find this and began beating off and have no idea that people have now made thier way back inside. I did however notice an electric toothbrush on the sink. I think using this instrument on my penis might be a good plan so I pick it up. It was no good on the shaft, but it was kinda cool feeling on my balls. The daughter of the family friend decides to open the bathroom door without knocking and i find myself looking at her, my mom, and my aunt with my dick in one hand and an electric toothbrush on my balls. It was horrible.

OMG


















+rep

[*ROYALwithCHEESE*]

Did they keep the tootbrush?

[ift]

Saw thread title and username, and a big smile appeared. Thread delivered :D

[Shahiem]

This thread brought the lulz pretty decently in my morning english class. Haha

[I shit prostate blood]

..... and long story short, i've been bleeding from my prostate ever since.

[bostonsk8er]

oldskizzle is the man. rated best stories on the east coast two years running. when's the book come out?

[austin from texas]

a few years ago i had a succession of roommates that lived on my couch in a one bedroom. at the time i had no internet so i couldnt wuck it online. but one day my room mate was at work and ive always had this tendency to jerk it minutes before whoever gets back from wherever they are. like, stay home sick from school, start wucking it around lunch, as soon as im gettin into it, i hear the garage door open. anyway, my roommate had been at work a while. now only having a dvd player and not knowing when my roommate would be back i decided to get comfy with it. turned on the porn, got completely naked, sat down on the couch(his bed) and proceeded to only warm up. as soon as i get to it, the fucking door opens! so i fuckin grab the blanket next to me and throw it over myself without hesitation, but it was too late. i look up to see him turning around (mind you he had the door all the way open by the time he realized what cannot be unseen). his only words were "aw duuuude?" with a tone of utter disappointment in his voice, and shut the door behind himself. i still cant believe i forgot to lock the fucking door. so i hung my head shamefully as i turned it off and got dressed, opened the door and couldnt look him in the face, stating "its safe now"

he never slept on that couch again

[RobFromFlint]

lmao "aw duuuude".

[Seattle Skaters]

lmao "aw duuuude".
:lol:

When i was in Job Corps, we had staff who were real hard asses. I was jerkin it in the shower after lights out (I was suppose to be in bed but need to drain) and right as I was cumming this old man started knocking on the door yelling "JONATHAN! WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN THERE!" My response was "OHHAOHDS" ".... ... I'm taking a shower!" He replied "I know that! Why are you in the shower after lights out?!" I finished cumming... :( I just wanted a few moments to cum without the sound of this old dude talking to me. I was disapoint.

[oldskizzle]

a few years ago i had a succession of roommates that lived on my couch in a one bedroom. at the time i had no internet so i couldnt wuck it online. but one day my room mate was at work and ive always had this tendency to jerk it minutes before whoever gets back from wherever they are. like, stay home sick from school, start wucking it around lunch, as soon as im gettin into it, i hear the garage door open. anyway, my roommate had been at work a while. now only having a dvd player and not knowing when my roommate would be back i decided to get comfy with it. turned on the porn, got completely naked, sat down on the couch(his bed) and proceeded to only warm up. as soon as i get to it, the fucking door opens! so i fuckin grab the blanket next to me and throw it over myself without hesitation, but it was too late. i look up to see him turning around (mind you he had the door all the way open by the time he realized what cannot be unseen). his only words were "aw duuuude?" with a tone of utter disappointment in his voice, and shut the door behind himself. i still cant believe i forgot to lock the fucking door. so i hung my head shamefully as i turned it off and got dressed, opened the door and couldnt look him in the face, stating "its safe now"

he never slept on that couch again

Lol, I had the same thing happen except I was the one walking in the door. I chose to just walk by and say, "whats up dude?" while putting my shit in the fridge like nothing was going on. It took me a while to sit in that chair again, but I got over it.

[katyperrystep]

oldskizzle what the hell do you have in your mouth in your sig?

[nub_roller]

http://seeadamtrain.files.wordpress.com/2010/02/vicks_vaporub1.jpg

burns. but if you give it a second try...

http://4.bp.blogspot.com/__FIaozgXAJA/SnXYz_7ZJLI/AAAAAAAAAAw/A5l5raEaXnM/s1600/FEELS%2BGOOD%2BMAN%2BDOG%2BTEXT.jpg

[RyanBeehlerrr]

best thread

[salomonskater]

just walked in on my brother and he was wuckin bird skin to "dat ass, now wit dat ass" post on dis msgboard.

http://i.imgur.com/aSgwi.jpg

[_doesitmatter_]

two girls in my room banging each other with rocket pops while im watching throwing a beat and my psycho bitch grandmother who i thought didnt know i was home starts banging on the door all screaming at me to get the whores outta the house or some shit like that.

im at this girls house and shes giving me head. we hear someone come into the house and shes like oh shit. so she goes to see who it is and i hear her talking to her mom and im like full on tent pitchin with no chance of a deflation anytime soon so i locked her door (or so i thought) and i continue on solo. after a couple minutes im going at it and the fucking door opens and her thirteen year old brother is just standing there horrified looking and im sitting there legs spread, junk in hand. i grabbed my stuff as fast as i could barely got my boxers and pants on as im leaving the fucking house and dipped all the while her mom was screaming at she and i. her mom was fucking pissed and i was no longer allowed to be in contact with her after that.

[formerly galenaskater]

two girls in my room banging each other with rocket pops while im watching throwing a beat and my psycho bitch grandmother who i thought didnt know i was home starts banging on the door all screaming at me to get the whores outta the house or some shit like that.

im at this girls house and shes giving me head. we hear someone come into the house and shes like oh shit. so she goes to see who it is and i hear her talking to her mom and im like full on tent pitchin with no chance of a deflation anytime soon so i locked her door (or so i thought) and i continue on solo. after a couple minutes im going at it and the fucking door opens and her thirteen year old brother is just standing there horrified looking and im sitting there legs spread, junk in hand. i grabbed my stuff as fast as i could barely got my boxers and pants on as im leaving the fucking house and dipped all the while her mom was screaming at she and i. her mom was fucking pissed and i was no longer allowed to be in contact with her after that.

this should of been in the doesitmater stories thread but i'm glad you posted this :)

[_doesitmatter_]

this should of been in the doesitmater stories thread but i'm glad you posted this :)


i didnt even put up half of whats in the book on here.....once its done and sent through print you guys are gonna be in for some shit!!

[salomonskater]

ther mom was fucking pissed and i was no longer allowed to be in contact with her after that.

Lol, did you two really stopped seeing each other just because of her mom? Internet, nigga, internet!

[Mudhut Jollyrancher]

hahaha best dude

[greenpiefilling]

hmm nothing to embarrassing... but I challenged my self to a wuck-off, 17 finishlines i crossed...I'll never do that again, the next day i had sex with current gf of the time and for the life of me could not bust! she left kinda mad... like "you dont think i'm pretty" bs.... I smoked a joint when she left and felt better

[Josh_Morrison]

im at the point in my life where im reading stories about other guys jerking off

[drew_amato]

just walked in on my brother and he was wuckin bird skin to "dat ass, now wit dat ass" post on dis msgboard.

http://i.imgur.com/aSgwi.jpg


I may be the only one who picked up the kelsos in the photo but god it was glorious

[NickL]

if your roommate was blind, would you wuck during a conversation?

[oldskizzle]

if your roommate was blind, would you wuck during a conversation?

Pretty sure he would hear you. I guess you could turn on a blender or something.

[RollerBatioNation]

Sometimes I slip it in the wife when shes sleeping......masturbation or rape?

[StarScream]

happen when i was 13 or so

when we were on family holiday i had to share a bed with my younger sister.
Did it every night beside her :oops:
apparently she was already asleep then (as i hoped)

was weird

[sharkyROL]

when we were on family holiday i had to share a bed with my younger sister.
Did it every night beside her :oops:
apparently she was already asleep then (as i hoped)

was weird


Dude, that's so wrong. :lol:

[*crooked*]

http://images1.memegenerator.net/ImageMacro/3999334/if-your-roommate-was-blind-would-you-wuck-during-a-conversation.jpg?imageSize=Large&generatorName=Philosoraptor

[*ROYALwithCHEESE*]

im at the point in my life where im reading stories about other guys jerking off

Thats why the interwebz was invented....... homoerotic wukin threadz

[Kent]

when we were on family holiday i had to share a bed with my younger sister.
Did it every night beside her :oops:
apparently she was already asleep then (as i hoped)

was weird

Wow, that is pretty disturbing

[NathanC]

My roommate walked in on me without knocking. I was a bit intoxicated, so it was like 'oh crap' but then I was like 'oh well'.


Me: "you should knock"

roommate: "yup"




and that was that.

[ift]

I may be the only one who picked up the kelsos in the photo but god it was glorious

Yeah since you know them and all of us don't, none of us would realize that pic depicts a thread SK made on here :|

And Claudio, that is a bit disturbing :lol:

[*ROYALwithCHEESE*]

starscream sounds like the type of dude who has a beard and hides in hedges outside kindegardens

[StarScream]

dude, i was 13 and horny

[PA]

when we were on family holiday i had to share a bed with my younger sister.
Did it every night beside her :oops:
apparently she was already asleep then (as i hoped)

was weird

:lol: :lol: :lol:

[oldskizzle]

when we were on family holiday i had to share a bed with my younger sister.
Did it every night beside her :oops:
apparently she was already asleep then (as i hoped)

was weird

Lol, I dont have a sister but have done the same thing with my grandparents in the same hotel room. My grandad was flipping through the channels one night and came across one of the porn stations on accident. I waited till they were asleep, grabbed the remote, and spanked.

Another bad/probably could have gone to jail incedent was when I was watching my ex-girlfriends kids for a night. They were in bed so I popped in a porn and went to town. As soon as I was done I realized that her 6yo son was standing in the entrance to the hallway looking right at me. That one freaked me out but I decided to mention to her when she got back that JJ had accidentally walked in on me watching porn. She laughed(thank god) and asked her son, "did you see him playin with his pecker?" He turned bright red and ran out of the kitchen laughing.

[ift]

:lol:

[_doesitmatter_]

Lol, did you two really stopped seeing each other just because of her mom? Internet, nigga, internet!


no one had internet back then....hell very few people i knew even had home computers then. plus her mom was a probation officer or some bullshit.....i wasnt trying to fuck with that.

[The_John]

so many lulz in this thread haha. ive never had any mishaps/been caught in the act. i take hella precautions before engaging in such activity.

[oldskizzle]

no one had internet back then....hell very few people i knew even had home computers then. plus her mom was a probation officer or some bullshit.....i wasnt trying to fuck with that.

ahhhh the days of trying to catch a peep of boob on the scrambled spice channel and having to ask bums and older brothers to buy you porn.

[Krish]

this thread should be stickied for all puns and purposes

[ilayfatdumps]

came on the fireplace. Smelled wierd man

I came on hot rocks in a sauna. it bubbled.

[SoSure]

In the bathroom of my parents house, and my mom yells over the intercom to ask if I'm going to be late for work just as I finish. Nothing like getting caught, but it did make the previous couple minutes feel like a total waste of time.

[*]

i was caught jerking off while hanging upside down from a bathroom stall in applebees when i was 13.

actually, i wasn't caught.

[s.]

Lol, I dont have a sister but have done the same thing with my grandparents in the same hotel room. My grandad was flipping through the channels one night and came across one of the porn stations on accident. I waited till they were asleep, grabbed the remote, and spanked.

Another bad/probably could have gone to jail incedent was when I was watching my ex-girlfriends kids for a night. They were in bed so I popped in a porn and went to town. As soon as I was done I realized that her 6yo son was standing in the entrance to the hallway looking right at me. That one freaked me out but I decided to mention to her when she got back that JJ had accidentally walked in on me watching porn. She laughed(thank god) and asked her son, "did you see him playin with his pecker?" He turned bright red and ran out of the kitchen laughing.

:lol: :lol:

so many lulz in this thread haha. ive never had any mishaps/been caught in the act. i take hella precautions before engaging in such activity.

[oldskizzle]

I came on hot rocks in a sauna. it bubbled.

ewwww, i cant imagine what that would be like. When I was a kid my school was really old and had radiators in the bathrooms. On the rare occasion they would be on we would pee on them. Shit smelled so bad.

[*]

http://www.pissblog.com/img/vin2/lesbian-piss-spray.jpg

[nb]

When I first discovered wucking I found a book about sex and the wuck guide in the book said about changing how hard you squeeze your peen to get difference sensations. Lets just say I choked the chicken abit too hard one day during my first week of wucking and got what can only be described as a large cancerous lump on the side my member for about a week...pretty much only thing of any interest in my wank history.

[oldskizzle]

When I first discovered wucking I found a book about sex and the wuck guide in the book said about changing how hard you squeeze your peen to get difference sensations. Lets just say I choked the chicken abit too hard one day during my first week of wucking and got what can only be described as a large cancerous lump on the side my member for about a week...pretty much only thing of any interest in my wank history.

I bought a penis pump for the simple fact that it was on clearance for 15 bucks. My mom walked in on me and DJO in her kitchen pumping up our boobs with it and laughing like beavis and butthead. She simply shook her head and said, "jesus christ," and walked out. Later on I tried it on my peen for shits and giggles. Deformed my wang for a couple days. Twaz epic.

[bobgross]

Fuck StarScream, that's so wrong. :lol:

[ift]

I bought a penis pump for the simple fact that it was on clearance for 15 bucks. My mom walked in on me and DJO in her kitchen pumping up our boobs with it and laughing like beavis and butthead. She simply shook her head and said, "jesus christ," and walked out. Later on I tried it on my peen for shits and giggles. Deformed my wang for a couple days. Twaz epic.

:lol: how so? Did it get bigger?

[FMillest]

http://i54.tinypic.com/2vmt5w9.jpg

[s.]

I bought a penis pump for the simple fact that it was on clearance for 15 bucks. My mom walked in on me and DJO in her kitchen pumping up our boobs with it and laughing like beavis and butthead. She simply shook her head and said, "jesus christ," and walked out. Later on I tried it on my peen for shits and giggles. Deformed my wang for a couple days. Twaz epic.

:lol::lol:

[salomonskater]

Lol, I dont have a sister but have done the same thing with my grandparents in the same hotel room. My grandad was flipping through the channels one night and came across one of the porn stations on accident. I waited till they were asleep, grabbed the remote, and spanked.

Another bad/probably could have gone to jail incedent was when I was watching my ex-girlfriends kids for a night. They were in bed so I popped in a porn and went to town. As soon as I was done I realized that her 6yo son was standing in the entrance to the hallway looking right at me. That one freaked me out but I decided to mention to her when she got back that JJ had accidentally walked in on me watching porn. She laughed(thank god) and asked her son, "did you see him playin with his pecker?" He turned bright red and ran out of the kitchen laughing.

:lol:

StarScream, this is really fucked up. :?

[ZiM108]

i really dont masturbate anymore

[*ROYALwithCHEESE*]

http://avatarfarm.com/forum/forumimages/upsthisthreaddelivers.jpg

[u am snookems]

alright well heres the story form the begining
met her wednesday... started talking saying wer both cute basicly liking each other.
i said i wanna hang out soon on thursday she said i vote your house tomorrow...i said deal
so friday i was planning on getting a macbook pro she came over we went to get the laptop i bought with my own money
went back messed around on photobooth and what not sitting next to each other and i was staring at her monroe piercing then made a move
she grabbed the back of my hair and stuck her tongue in my mouth i enjoyed that... so lil later she sits on my lap and we go at it some more
started fingering her for like 4 mins then said i think i need a condom...she said yeah you do! went up got 4 came back
she sucked me then fucked me then my dad woke up so we had to get dressed real fast lol
then after he left we got it on for like 45 mins
i didnt cum we stopped cause her dad came to pick her up so i ended getting blue balls but all together good
plan on getting it on the reg now

[NickL]

link works?


http://www.buzzfeed.com/expresident/caught-masturbating

[*ROYALwithCHEESE*]

Remember my Masturbation Mishap
http://www.inquisitr.com/wp-content/michael-hutchence.jpg


Yeah Remember Mine? Hahahahaha, why couldnt we just beat off the old fashion way?
http://static.thehollywoodgossip.com/images/gallery/david-carradine-photo.jpg

[The Average Homeboy]

Hot tub = penis = stuck in the jet vent.

[salomonskater]

Hot tub = penis = stuck in the jet vent.


nice
.

[RobiRobb]

http://www.inquisitr.com/wp-content/michael-hutchence.jpg


http://static.thehollywoodgossip.com/images/gallery/david-carradine-photo.jpg

http://images.encyclopediadramatica.com/images/3/33/Futurama_Fry_Looking_Squint.jpg

[oldskizzle]

:lol: how so? Did it get bigger?

kinda it got all bulbous on the side and head. Shit hurt.

[ift]

FAST AND BULBOUS! BULBOUS ALSO TAPERED! yeah but you've gotta wait until i say A TIN TEARDROP

[!!!]

nothing exciting ever happened to me really, i think back in my teen / live at home years i had to yank the blankets over myself or give the hoarse voiced 'just a minute' but that was all. although, my dad did find find my porno mag stash in the days before i had a computer, and as a devout christian he was very 'son i am disappoint'. also, as a horny lonely sexually frustrated young boy, i wucked myself raw before. but i couldnt stop myself from doing it haha... shit took awhile to heal, pretty disgusting and painful but also feels good man.

masturbation ninja:
-jerked it in my neighbor's bathroom to their hot mom's panties hanging from the shower rod.
-busted on my roommates pillow before for the lulz
-wucked it into a sock while having a sleepover at a friend's house, he may have been awake but too embarrassed to try to stop me.

[salomonskater]

-busted on my roommates pillow before for the lulz


Dude...

[Robert1]

nothing exciting ever happened to me really, i think back in my teen / live at home years i had to yank the blankets over myself or give the hoarse voiced 'just a minute' but that was all. although, my dad did find find my porno mag stash in the days before i had a computer, and as a devout christian he was very 'son i am disappoint'. also, as a horny lonely sexually frustrated young boy, i wucked myself raw before. but i couldnt stop myself from doing it haha... shit took awhile to heal, pretty disgusting and painful but also feels good man.

masturbation ninja:
-jerked it in my neighbor's bathroom to their hot mom's panties hanging from the shower rod.
-busted on my roommates pillow before for the lulz
-wucked it into a sock while having a sleepover at a friend's house, he may have been awake but too embarrassed to try to stop me.
WTF.

[u am snookems]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1A-MeFP6y34

[P-nut]

nothing exciting ever happened to me really, i think back in my teen / live at home years i had to yank the blankets over myself or give the hoarse voiced 'just a minute' but that was all. although, my dad did find find my porno mag stash in the days before i had a computer, and as a devout christian he was very 'son i am disappoint'. also, as a horny lonely sexually frustrated young boy, i wucked myself raw before. but i couldnt stop myself from doing it haha... shit took awhile to heal, pretty disgusting and painful but also feels good man.

masturbation ninja:
-jerked it in my neighbor's bathroom to their hot mom's panties hanging from the shower rod.
-busted on my roommates pillow before for the lulz
-wucked it into a sock while having a sleepover at a friend's house, he may have been awake but too embarrassed to try to stop me.

:lol:

[remdyz]

nothing exciting ever happened to me really, i think back in my teen / live at home years i had to yank the blankets over myself or give the hoarse voiced 'just a minute' but that was all. although, my dad did find find my porno mag stash in the days before i had a computer, and as a devout christian he was very 'son i am disappoint'. also, as a horny lonely sexually frustrated young boy, i wucked myself raw before. but i couldnt stop myself from doing it haha... shit took awhile to heal,

masturbation ninja:
-jerked it in my neighbor's bathroom to their hot mom's panties hanging from the shower rod.
-busted on my roommates pillow before for the lulz
-wucked it into a sock while having a sleepover at a friend's house, he may have been awake but too embarrassed to try to stop me.

Dude, you are not a masturbation ninja. You are a masturbation terrorist.

[thecrown]

ur sig describes exactly how i read his post ^ lol

[*ROYALwithCHEESE*]

Who came first....us or the apes

http://im.videosearch.rediff.com/thumbImage/videoImages/videoImages1/youtube/rdhash617/E5bdet7ta6Q.gif
http://www.gifsoup.com/webroot/animatedgifs/605538_o.gif