Have you ever taken a shit that just seems perfect? As if the planets aligned and the stars wept just for your random bowel movement? The whole ordeal just goes by so smoothly and without effort that you think, were there a higher power, it would've smiled upon your daily ritual with a twinkle in its eye, as if parting the Red Sea that is your colon, allowing you an unexplainably perfect and righteous poop.
I'm aware that not everyone will be able to enjoy such an event, nay, endeavor! But I have, just moments ago, and I wish you all to share in my fulfillment.
Stay classy, my friends.