short story about rollerblading

[bryce_orfield]

You suck at writing. But concept was good

[scratch]

Thanks for reading guys. And no, I'm not Cam, or Mickey.

To those who disliked the writing -- I'd be curious, could you take the time to pull out a part or two that you disliked, or describe what you disliked, so that I can zero in on the problems?

Thanks

[bryce_orfield]

You need better verbs and word choice, that's pretty much it.

[u am snookems]

As a David Foster Wallace fanboy, I've thought on many occasions about writing fiction that revolved around rollerblading. I haven't read yours yet, Lewis, but I'm interested to see what someone has done with the idea.

[Jim]

Thanks for reading guys. And no, I'm not Cam, or Mickey.

To those who disliked the writing -- I'd be curious, could you take the time to pull out a part or two that you disliked, or describe what you disliked, so that I can zero in on the problems?

Thanks

You wrote a story about rollerblading. I've been skating for over half my life and have encountered some weird shit but I would never include rollerblading. Not that I'm ashamed of it, but 99% of people in this world don't know what rollerblading is. It's obviously fiction so you center your story around something the reader if familiar with. You're only writing to a certain audience, not a broader one.

[waitmichaelwait]

Where is knucklehead? I miss his stories, I stumbled upon a craigslist ad in which a 'knucklehead' was looking for a writers assistant and hoped it was bemags knucklehead but never found out.

[Muppet4Eternity]

As I sort of said, you need to be more concise in your descriptions.