Rollerblading: State of the Union

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Let's check in around the world wide web to check out the consensus on rollerblading. Only one rule:

Let's check in around the world wide web to see the consensus on rollerblading. Only one rule: Post the first result. If there was a second rule it would be that there are no rules, but there is one rule, and that's why there is no second rule.

Google: http://www.rollerblade.com/
Super computer logical. Ace work, Goog!

Wikipedia: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rollerblading#Inline_skating
Weird that we "aggressive skaters" are a subset of inline skating, which is a subset of roller skating. Why not have our own page? Can't we do that? Why hasn't anyone done that?
"Aggressive skating is also often referred to by participants as rollerblading, blading or rolling and includes a variety of grinds, airs, slides and other advanced skating maneuvers." I myself am a big fan of those other "advanced skating maneuvers"...what the fuck are they (who's they?) referring to?

Urban Dictionary: http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=rollerblading
Big surprise here. I hit enter expecting a joke about how the hardest part about rollerblading is telling your parents that your gay. Instead I get this as the #1 submission: "Fucking awesome" To point. I like the cut of your jib, Sailor. Tip of the hat to the submitter "I'm Cool"...yes you are. The coolest. I should point out "NinjaGoblin's" submission at #5: "When an obese woman lays on her stomach and bends her arms backwards causing her shoulder blades to come together. an man then puts his penis between her shoulder blades and begins thrusting back and forth thus causing his testicles to "roll" over her "blades"." 5 points for creativity. Not sure what the fuck is going on, but I like it. And damn, there it is. Coming in at #7:"A way of telling someone that you are gay. Cody: "I'm going rollerblading." Ryan:"Does your mom know you're gay?" Ha, I fucking knew it.

MTV: http://www.mtv.com/videos/misc/150968/rollerblading.jhtml
It's Aziz Ansari doing the "how hard it is to tell your parents" joke. Clearly, MTV has always been a big fan. We should do everything we can to show our appreciation to such a friendly and open armed organization. Fuck, I just want a button I can push that would some how reach my hand through my moniter to Aziz Ansari's with a big hearty fuck you, you little dick asshole, middle finger. He's a comedian and I get that, but I'm pretty sure he didn't come up with that joke, so he's no better than Brazilionaire McStealypants.

Comedy Central: http://www.comedycentral.com/videos/index.jhtml?videoId=162836&title=benders-fame
A clip from Futurama that has Bender coming upon a group of neon colored knee pad wearing dancing inline skaters. It wasn't funny.

YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WS-6S6fnJIc
Brian Aragon with over 100,000 views. Not bad. It's the video of him being pissed off at the "blood money" ad in Daily Bread (i think) and all mindgamed out. Worth mentioning Alex Broskow comes through with 305,248 views from KFC 3 or whatever the straight jacket one was.

Break: http://www.break.com/usercontent/2007/1/rollerblading-205920.html
"Fakie 360 to balls". Yup.

College Humor: http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1900018
The kid royales into a sign that's posted at the end of the rail. I don't know. Looks pretty dumb when you're dumb doing dumb things like that.

Vimeo: http://vimeo.com/228098
This little clip comes from "Kilian loves Ryan". Some wild stuff in this one. Vimeo says the clip is 2 years old, I wonder if the kid still rollerblades?

MySpace: If you're still on MySpace, get the fuck off. Shit sucks for everything except musicians, pedophiles, and -'*PeePLe wHo TyPe LyK DiS*'- . Get the fuck out of here with that shit. I won't even dignify that place with my search.

Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/pages/Rollerblading/14310099437?ref=s
That's good, a fan site for rollerblading. It's got 5,357 members. I did not become a fan upon finding this, because I'm not a fan of rollerblading. I'm an active participant. Then again I watch edits of other people skating and talk about how cool it is that they can do that. Maybe I am a fan. I'll come back to this one.

About half way through this I realized how dumb this was, but because I started it I felt I had to finish it. A perfect allegory for me and my relationship with rollerblading. HIYO!

Well, that's it. Anyone still reading? Congrats if you are.